Best Balti Bar None?

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Over Xmas, I’ve been catching up on books from foodie celebs waxing lyrical about certain dishes which set me thinking about the perfect Balti. So using the sum total of some of my favourite restaurants (they all have their strengths and weaknesses) I’ve set out my perfect balti meal …. Poppadoms are the intro, free of course in any respectable baltihouse. They should be crisp and dry with a hint of hot oil accompanied by tamarind and mint dips. No self respecting poppadum should be stale or as chewy as a Quality Street toffee and the dips should have some thickness and not run all over the plate like a water spillage. Onto starters and if a Chicken Tikka it should be cooked through with a barbecued taste and not a sloppy offering which tries to disguise it’s shortcomings by glowing in the dark.  If it’s a Sheekh Kebab, then this meaty and spicy offering should be of Zeppelin proportions and have the properties of a telescope thanks to the use of an industrial cooking skewer (can you see out of the other end and shout ‘ship ahoy’!). The kebab shouldn’t be burnt and shrivelled like something out of a medical journal.  If it’s a Vegetable Pakora (or Bhaji) then a crispy ball containing a melange of different vegetables and not  a dessicated microwaved version or worse still some onion rings masquerading as the real thing.  Onto the main event and if it’s not served up in a blackened bowl with handles hotter than the gates of hell then you should be entitled to your money back. The contents should be sizzling at the edges with that trace of caramelisation and if it were a chicken and mushroom variety then it should contain freshly cooked chunks of chicken, rather than precooked slivers as that way the transfer of  flavour  is better. The mushrooms (and this can be a rarity in busy kitchens) should ideally be freshly sliced rather than the slimy tinned version.  Finally the Naan bread shouldn’t be as dry as a stale madeira sponge cake nor should it  be a flaky object served up like it’s been affected with a culinary version of athlete’s foot. Instead, it should be  a fresh yeasty offering with a bubbling surface resembling the moon … and if it’s garlic, enough chunks to frighten away the vampires and not a reluctant dusting from a great height of garlic powder.  And if I was a condemned man, that would have almost been a meal almost worth killing for!

Where it all began!

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Dropped into Adil’s recently to see how they were doing using their new Birmingham made balti bowls.

Birmingham Balti Bowl

As I entered  a couple of customers were saying to the Manager, how much they had enjoyed their baltis which was a good sign before I tucked into my chicken and mushroom balti … a more than substantial portion and good to see the restaurant living up to its pledge to use fresh vegetables even down to the mushrooms. 

Andy enjoying his Balti!

They’re definitely worth a visit as part of the Balti circuit with a number of unique dishes including their notorious Chilli Bhaji which would be worth a place in the ‘I’m a Celeb’ bush tucker trials. Other dishes worth a shot including the Balti Zeera Chicken (cumin based) and the Balti Sehat Angaiz (a drier dish including minced chicken, king prawn and peas). For veggies, the Balti Sabzi E Khaas is a classic with fresh vegetables and lentils … all could be mopped up with a health giving ginger naan!

Aldil's Menu with Balti and Nan
Adil’s Menu with Balti and Nan

Hot Chocolate?

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Bengali Curry chocolate bar

Bengali Curry chocolate bar

On a recent visit to France, I picked up a ‘Bengali Curry’ chocolate bar..a concoction which included white chocolate, chilli, pineapple and spices. There was an audible ‘Ugh!’ when my wife wouldn’t touch it but surprisingly it was quite tasty. However, it’s a bit of a weird concept but who knows there might be a Balti (chocolate) Bar on the horizon.

Indigestable?

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The Sunday Times recently featured their food critics’ best 100 places to eat. One of those critics was Giles Conran who in the past has made some very disparaging remarks about Birmingham which would make Jeremy Clarkson seem like the City’s no 1 fan. Predictably no Birmingham restaurants featured although one of his recommendations was ‘Rotii King’, a cheap eatery in London …. hasn’t Giles bothered to eat at the Indian Brewery or even the Hen and Chickens in the City’s Jewellery Quarter, never mind a genuine Birmingham Balti although one doubts whether Mr Conran would recognise the dish even if he fell into one!

Sloppy Joe

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Joe Wicks seems to be a current housewife’s heart throb so it was really no surprise when he appeared on Eamon Holmes ‘This Morning’. As keeping fit and healthy eating are his thing, it was no surprise that he was seen to cook a healthy curry with a fine set of tasty ingredients.

What a shame it was tagged a ‘balti’ when it was nothing of the sort. Still, it was a nice curry served up in a nice looking serving dish so maybe we should forgive ‘Sloppy Joe’ and blame the researchers. It’s just a shame that Joe is unaware of the extra health benefits of cooking and serving up in same cooking pan.

Curry or Slurry?

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Greg Wallace's 'Inside the Factory' TV series recently featured curry

Greg Wallace’s ‘Inside the Factory’ TV series recently featured curry

Master Chef star presenter Greg Wallace’s  ‘Inside the Factory’ TV series

recently featured curry. He went behind the scenes of a factory who produce jars of curry sauce for leading brands. The end result appeared to be a vatful of highly coloured glutinous curry sauce which looked like it could glow in the dark. Of course, we were told that it contained some secret ingredients which even the factory floor workers couldn’t reveal. Could that include sugar, salt and colouring? Three ‘non pc’ culinary items strangely not shown in any of the processes?

Eitherway, please pass me a genuine restaurant prepared Balti Chicken and Mushroom!

BBC Balti Baloney

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Radio 4 Food Programme report

Radio 4 Food Programme report

Many years ago the BBC (and particularly Radio 4) could be relied upon to do their research thoroughly and provide accurate and objective reporting. Unfortunately last week’s Radio 4 Food Programme report is anything to go by, those days are long gone.

Under the heading ‘Birmingham’s  Beloved Balti’ their reporter Yasmin Khan proceeded to angle her report to fit her opening lines that the ‘Balti is Dead’. In an attempt to back up the statement she went to a couple of restaurants which, whilst perfectly okay in terms of cooking traditional Pakistani food, don’t actually cook proper Baltis. In fact she dismally failed to interview any that actually cooked a proper Birmingham Balti to the extent that one wonders whether she even has a clue as to how a proper Balti is cooked and served.

She made the point that the Balti Triangle now has a far greater variety of restaurants serving world cuisine … so what’s her point? Brummies whether of Pakistani origin or not actually like to try different cuisines so why should the Balti Triangle be any different? She also seemed to suggest that at the height of the balti phenomenon, the area was awash with racial tension when it was actually responsible for breaking down racial barriers.

However, here’s a few facts to balance what can only be described as BBC fake news …

  • The Balti Triangle is where it all began and where the dish was invented.
  • The founders Adils are still operating in the area and cooking up proper Baltis.
  • Balti is a method of cooking and not a recipe and  there are still a number of restaurants in the Balti Triangle  serving the real deal.
  • The Baltihouses still bring in customers from outside the area contributing to its friendly multi cultural atmosphere of which Balti still plays an important part.
  • Typically the Baltihouses still get around 30% or more Pakistani customers.
  • Now the Balti bowls themselves are being manufactured back in Birmingham, their popularity suggests that if people haven’t got a genuine Baltihouse near them, they are even cooking them the right way at home.

Perversely her piece ends up contradicting her opening statement by saying ‘she has a feeling Balti isn’t going anywhere’ … at least she got something right!

Bygone Baltis

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Sher Khan

Sher Khan

In the heart of the Balti Triangle was a popular restaurant called Sher Khan and, as the photo shows, it is now in the act of disappearing having remained derelict for a number of years.

One of the slightly ‘posher’ baltihouses, it used to be opposite another longstanding favourite, the ‘Grand Tandoori’. It was famous for its ‘Balti Aphrodisiac’ now still available at Al Frash where the chef eventually moved.

However the main front of house man was a young well built lad called Jimmy who was a real character and could often be seen in an open topped sportscar driving around the area. He disappeared suddenly rumoured to have been sent to Pakistan for some ‘corrective’ treatment to try and bring him to heel.

Sher Khan’s other claim to fame was winning a giant balti eating contest held at the nearby then Norman Chamberlain College, an event that raised a substantial sum for Children in Need written as a cheque on the back of one of the restaurant’s giant naans!

A restaurant gone but not forgotten.

Streetwise?

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Shahi Nan Kabab

Shahi Nan Kabab

I recently paid a return visit to one of the Balti Triangle’s top exponents of a ‘proper’ balti, the Shahi Nan on Stratford Road.

Always offering excellent food and friendly service, if I had one grumble, it would be that following a refurbishment  a few years ago, dining in the restaurant was like having a meal under police interrogation or conversely eating in a hospital operating theatre such was the starkness of the lighting.

Well, following a recent makeover (décor not food thankfully) it’s been transformed. Yet the changes are simple – arty bulb style lamps and planks of wood (or floorboards?) lining the walls giving a mellow and cosy effect.

The menu has been restyled as Pakistani ‘street food’ which the Shahi Nan’s kebabs might well be although otherwise the menu seems pretty much the same. In fact, the guy next to me was devouring a plate of freshly cooked chips but maybe that’s what they’re eating on the streets of Lahore at the moment.

Still it doesn’t really matter, as the food is still top notch and the surroundings now match the quality. Street Food or Streetwise? In reality, it doesn’t really matter.