- fluorescent sauces that could glow in the dark
- poppadoms that bend but don’t break
- baltis served up in silver bowls
- microwaved pakora dessicated to death
- aniseed sweets instead of after dinner mints
- obsequious waiters
- foil takeaway containers that leak
- spongy thick naan breads like stale madeira cake
- rock hard kulfi ice cream that needs a pneumatic drill
- curries with the consistency of cream of tomato soup