The Sunday Times recently featured their food critics’ best 100 places to eat. One of those critics was Giles Conran who in the past has made some very disparaging remarks about Birmingham which would make Jeremy Clarkson seem like the City’s no 1 fan. Predictably no Birmingham restaurants featured although one of his recommendations was ‘Rotii King’, a cheap eatery in London …. hasn’t Giles bothered to eat at the Indian Brewery or even the Hen and Chickens in the City’s Jewellery Quarter, never mind a genuine Birmingham Balti although one doubts whether Mr Conran would recognise the dish even if he fell into one!

Joe Wicks seems to be a current housewife’s heart throb so it was really no surprise when he appeared on Eamon Holmes ‘This Morning’. As keeping fit and healthy eating are his thing, it was no surprise that he was seen to cook a healthy curry with a fine set of tasty ingredients.

What a shame it was tagged a ‘balti’ when it was nothing of the sort. Still, it was a nice curry served up in a nice looking serving dish so maybe we should forgive ‘Sloppy Joe’ and blame the researchers. It’s just a shame that Joe is unaware of the extra health benefits of cooking and serving up in same cooking pan.

Greg Wallace’s ‘Inside the Factory’ TV series recently featured curry

recently featured curry. He went behind the scenes of a factory who produce jars of curry sauce for leading brands. The end result appeared to be a vatful of highly coloured glutinous curry sauce which looked like it could glow in the dark. Of course, we were told that it contained some secret ingredients which even the factory floor workers couldn’t reveal. Could that include sugar, salt and colouring? Three ‘non pc’ culinary items strangely not shown in any of the processes?

Eitherway, please pass me a genuine restaurant prepared Balti Chicken and Mushroom!

Radio 4 Food Programme report

Many years ago the BBC (and particularly Radio 4) could be relied upon to do their research thoroughly and provide accurate and objective reporting. Unfortunately last week’s Radio 4 Food Programme report is anything to go by, those days are long gone.

Under the heading ‘Birmingham’s  Beloved Balti’ their reporter Yasmin Khan proceeded to angle her report to fit her opening lines that the ‘Balti is Dead’. In an attempt to back up the statement she went to a couple of restaurants which, whilst perfectly okay in terms of cooking traditional Pakistani food, don’t actually cook proper Baltis. In fact she dismally failed to interview any that actually cooked a proper Birmingham Balti to the extent that one wonders whether she even has a clue as to how a proper Balti is cooked and served.

She made the point that the Balti Triangle now has a far greater variety of restaurants serving world cuisine … so what’s her point? Brummies whether of Pakistani origin or not actually like to try different cuisines so why should the Balti Triangle be any different? She also seemed to suggest that at the height of the balti phenomenon, the area was awash with racial tension when it was actually responsible for breaking down racial barriers.

However, here’s a few facts to balance what can only be described as BBC fake news …

• The Balti Triangle is where it all began and where the dish was invented.
• The founders Adils are still operating in the area and cooking up proper Baltis.
• Balti is a method of cooking and not a recipe and  there are still a number of restaurants in the Balti Triangle  serving the real deal.
• The Baltihouses still bring in customers from outside the area contributing to its friendly multi cultural atmosphere of which Balti still plays an important part.
• Typically the Baltihouses still get around 30% or more Pakistani customers.
• Now the Balti bowls themselves are being manufactured back in Birmingham, their popularity suggests that if people haven’t got a genuine Baltihouse near them, they are even cooking them the right way at home.

Perversely her piece ends up contradicting her opening statement by saying ‘she has a feeling Balti isn’t going anywhere’ … at least she got something right!

Sher Khan

In the heart of the Balti Triangle was a popular restaurant called Sher Khan and, as the photo shows, it is now in the act of disappearing having remained derelict for a number of years.

One of the slightly ‘posher’ baltihouses, it used to be opposite another longstanding favourite, the ‘Grand Tandoori’. It was famous for its ‘Balti Aphrodisiac’ now still available at Al Frash where the chef eventually moved.

However the main front of house man was a young well built lad called Jimmy who was a real character and could often be seen in an open topped sportscar driving around the area. He disappeared suddenly rumoured to have been sent to Pakistan for some ‘corrective’ treatment to try and bring him to heel.

Sher Khan’s other claim to fame was winning a giant balti eating contest held at the nearby then Norman Chamberlain College, an event that raised a substantial sum for Children in Need written as a cheque on the back of one of the restaurant’s giant naans!

A restaurant gone but not forgotten.

Shahi Nan Kabab

I recently paid a return visit to one of the Balti Triangle’s top exponents of a ‘proper’ balti, the Shahi Nan on Stratford Road.

Always offering excellent food and friendly service, if I had one grumble, it would be that following a refurbishment  a few years ago, dining in the restaurant was like having a meal under police interrogation or conversely eating in a hospital operating theatre such was the starkness of the lighting.

Well, following a recent makeover (décor not food thankfully) it’s been transformed. Yet the changes are simple – arty bulb style lamps and planks of wood (or floorboards?) lining the walls giving a mellow and cosy effect.

The menu has been restyled as Pakistani ‘street food’ which the Shahi Nan’s kebabs might well be although otherwise the menu seems pretty much the same. In fact, the guy next to me was devouring a plate of freshly cooked chips but maybe that’s what they’re eating on the streets of Lahore at the moment.

Still it doesn’t really matter, as the food is still top notch and the surroundings now match the quality. Street Food or Streetwise? In reality, it doesn’t really matter.

Recent reports in the paper suggest that the Government are on the cusp of introducing new legislation to make food manufacturers, takeaways and restaurants declare the calorific value of their food.

Whilst to some extent that might be helpful on sweet and chocolate packaging maybe things are going too far. Firstly, will it make any difference other than to diehard ‘professional ‘ slimmers who anyway can spot a calorie count 100 yards away. Secondly, is Joe Public going to be bothered with the hassle of balancing their calorie count with energy expended each and every day.

If I have a couple of poppadoms, a chicken pakora starter,a balti chicken and mushroom and a nice fluffy naan washed down with a couple of bottles of beer, I’m perfectly capable of understanding that (a) it would be unwise to eat that every night (b) a brisk walk or gym session is called for the next day to keep things on an even keel.

Calorie counting seems to me to be a bit of pointless bureaucracy which is unlikely to make jot of difference to either those who are already savvy on weight management or conversely on those who don’t really care enough to bother to get a calculator out at the end of the day.

New Balti Bowl

Seasoned Balti Bowl

There was a recent article in the Guardian lamenting the lack of availability of ‘real’ paella and the growth of pretenders purporting to be the real thing. It struck me that there is a striking similarity to the position on authentic balti not least because paella takes its name from the cooking pan which is a signature element in the dish itself. However, in the case of paella, it’s more about the ingredients but in the case of balti, it’s more about the method but the overall principle of the issue of the not so great pretenders is the same.

So if ‘Paella has been Punked’ then equally ‘Balti has been Blagged’!